shellgraphics

My Forum Comments

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  • in reply to: Emotional Distance #82762

    shellgraphics
    Participant

    It is not awful. It is a coping strategy. I often have to separate my emotions from my parenting or we end up with two people having meltdowns…my child and then me! I am most successful with my own children if I pretend that I am working with someone’s else children because I teach special needs kids also. When I allow my children to dig into my emotional “bucket” then I am no longer an effective parent, I am another child in the family. I have to put my emotions aside sometimes I have learned or we end up saying things to each other that are hurtful or harmful that we often don’t mean. I am not always able to do this but when I can it is actually more helpful to my children I have found. You are doing what you need to do to parent! Remember that. It is hard and it is ugly sometimes but we do what we can to keep ourselves healthy so we can be a better role model for our children.

  • in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #72517

    shellgraphics
    Participant

    Yes I am medicated and that is why I am able to work a “normal day job.” I want to finish my teaching license and I only have a year of methods classes left but my husband thinks it is pointless. He thinks that it is not worth my time because I would not get paid much more. How do I strive for what I want to do when I struggle to fulfill what my husband and kids want me to do? I receive excellent reviews for my work as a paraprofessional but I don’t understand why the skills that I exude in my daily work life will not transfer over to my home life? Does anyone else have this problem?

  • in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #72339

    shellgraphics
    Participant

    Thank you, Thank you, everyone for your honest and encouraging replies. My feelings have subsided a little for now because I have reached out and I am receiving help through a therapist, I am trying to workout more, and most importantly I have realized that I have to take better care of myself as someone mentioned above. I just feel like a I will always struggle to feel like a grown-up because of my struggle to not filter my thoughts and to blurt out truth bombs that may not be appropriate for me to say to certain age groups at certain times. I have heard my oldest say to our family friend, “why can’t mom just act like a mom and just stop talking or just do all the chores for us like other Moms do. I struggle to be myself around my children because I feel like if I am then I am not acting “adult” enough and not providing the consistency that they need. This trait makes it tough to be the “authority figure” as a parent because my tendency is to smooth things over, give in, or shut down and escape. I appreciate the feedback as I continue to tread on through this journey and I really appreciate the advice and stories that each of you has shared with me.

Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)