lakeriewilliams

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  • lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    No you are not alone and you are not a bad mom, period! I have a few suggestions that aren’t dealing with Apps if you are up to receiving them. I am a married mother of 4 and extremely busy woman with ADHD (proud member of the tribe actually, and I am of the combined type). Your story isn’t as unique as you may feel it is and there are various realistic ways that your situation can be dealt with, with virtually zero to no financial cost to you at all, seriously. I’m not trying to sell you anything, kitty being real from my own personal experience.

    Also, as October is ADHD awareness month, I’m certain you can pick up on some great tips for free from experts in the field that not only understand ADHD but many live with it daily themselves!
    Last, before I go (and feel free to email me if you like at lakeriewilliams@hotmail.com), a mwmwber is our tribe and awesome professional wrote an inyetesting blog/article to deal with overwhelm-giving 3 useful tips
    That you may find useful.

    3 Simple Tricks for Battling ADHD Overwhelm

  • in reply to: My ADD high school graduate can she survive college? #85052

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    I want so badly to respond in a greater depth to this email than I can at the moment-as I’m traveling with my husband & children for the Memorial Day weekend today, and we are almost at our destination. However, no disrespect or shade intended, but for the author of the post and other women who’ve responded, do you also have ADHD?

    I only ask because I am a woman who has it. In fact, I not only have it but am involved in a support group full of women all around the works who have it as well. While all the items discussed are important to worry about, I just wonder if the people responding or asking have first hand knowledge nor just solely about raising a child with ADHD, but more so how to navigate life regardless.

    I have 3 college degrees, and my third degree is a professional degree (Juris Doctor), and I’m aware of others who carry PhDs, MDs, DDS, etc. in fact there isn’t a post graduate degree or field where you will find a shortage of us ADHD folk in. Also, it’s doable-really really doable. There is support out there-even with groups such as ADDA, which allow free membership to our fellow ADHDers who happen to be college students

    I can go into my experience, and will at another time if necessary or requested,but let me highlight something I know first hand on the other side of the education piece. About 4 years ago I was a adjunct professor at a tier 1 university in the western part of the United States. While there, I also was the supervisor of Admissions & Records, faculty advisor to several student clubs and organization, Sitting member of the scholarship appeals committee and a host of other things. The class I taught was in the Core Humanities department. It was a Core Curriculum writing course that all undergraduates has to take and pass, regardless of their major, to receive their BA or BS degree. From my experience, my students with ADHD, Autism, and other situations were more than capable AND SUCCESSFUL in their collegiate careers and in my class. My students LOVED ME (always had waiting list and people waiting til the next semester to take my class) and while others may see ADHD as a barrier or issue to do well on higher education action, it truly can be a tool that is utilized to achieve higher than others.

    Grant it, there are always exceptions to every rule, but if your daughter is motivated, determined and truly has a passion for higher education (and everyone does not, inclusive of the many neurotypical students that enroll into college every year) although your concerns are understandable (as a parent you care for your kids-I can relate as I’m a mother of 4, 1 of my children has autism and 1 of my other children have ADHD too) please don’t allow that to place limits on what she can do or how she will do. You e raised her the best way you k o how and trust that. The symptoms she has because of ADHD an be managed, assisted, and by the letter of the law, with the full support of the AMERICANS WITH DISABILITY ACT (if she is a US citizen, can’t spwak for other countries) she absolutely has access to accommodations to allow the playing field to be evened our for her. So thank you for reaching out on this post, I’m so grateful! But please, never place limitations or your fears on her success! She should go to college, whether it’s a 2 yr, 4yr or even a combination duel program (and yes it’s forseeable and doable-I have ADHD of the combined type and my educational background and experience bears witness that anything is possible) she needs to know and understand that the sky is the limit. And more importantly, she should know and understand that you fully support and are encouraging of her desire to pursue her higher education. Also, most students (neurotypical young people inclusive) have no idea what they want to do when first going to college. The fact that she is anxious or concerned is normal-she wants to do well and be great-so let her! I know money is an issue for many-but don’t assume investing in her education is anything less than a worthy investment. My email islakeriewilliams@hotmail.com Please feel free to contact me if you want to discuss further. I also mentor students-I’d love to connect with your daughter. She needs to know there are a lot of us out here willing to ride this thing with her!

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #82521

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    To Jolly (15 hyper girl) and others like her (and I am one of those awesome hyper girls, though I’m 39)…send me an email if you want to connect. My email is lakeriewilliams@hotmail.com
    If you have access to the WhatsApp then we have a free international forum we would love for you to be a part of-just a bunch of us women folk with ADHD. Have an awesome day.

    Love yourself and smile!
    La Kerie Williams

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #79564

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    We Started a Women’s ADHD support group-just email for now. Anyone may join. Interested? Send email to
    Lakeriewilliams@hotmail.com

    The more I go back and read post/response, the more it shows how much of us have a lot in common. I too was born in the 70s (late 70s for me) and this stuff has been around forever, just labeled differently depending on where you grew up.

    You all are NOT ALONE! Be blessed.

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #79367

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    So seriously ladies, let’s form a private Facebook group and chat on the phone like once per month-I have access to free teleconference calls. Outside of myself I had 2 others contact me. Send me an email if you’re down with a free support group.

    My email is
    Lakeriewilliams@hotmail.com

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #79355

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    Omg, I absolutely LOVE seeing this post in existence! I too am of the combined type. I’ll be 39 next week, married with 4 children. Diagnoses presented itself a couple times as a child but my parents were against it because they felt o was being misplaced in a racist title due to the stigma it had on a lot of misdiagnosed African American youth whom teachers just did not know how to properly educate of work with. Long story short, my struggle was real but I had to adjust in the worst way-but it is doable. I had the opportunity to get diagnosed again at 19, but I stubbornly refused to allow the diagnosis to be attached because I wanted to ignorantly prove I was just as good, if not better, than anyone else without the label. Fast forward to my first year in law school, after passing ALL the essay portion of the 1L exams (but failing miserably on the multiple choice), my Contracts professor was shocked to learn (it was anonymous grading) that the perfect essay paper she graded from me resulted in a C. All my grades were the same and I was a sneeze away from academic probation, alrhohhh I knew the law just as well, if not better than my peers. My boyfriend, turn Fiance (and now husband) at the time was in his second to last year of dental school and he convinced me to go beyond my stubbornness and allow them to know my truth (ADHD). Long story short, do for retested just to prove what I already knew from the ages of 4,7,11, & 19- I was ADHD of the combined type. Nope, didn’t grow out of it, nope, not the ADD silent girl type frequently wrote about, but the good old classic ADHD combined type-the very essence of blurting our, interrupting, talkative, bossy, energetic and everything that is supposed to be what they say the males are. I finally allowed the truth to be attached to me and by way of my rights through the ADA, has my accommodations given with my test (time and a half) and oh my gosh the difference it made! Everyone always got As off my work because of how I am able to disssvr Dow outlines and notes-because of what works for me. I can take a 40 page lecture and county sense it to 8-10 pages that make sense to my crazy brain, a brain of someone with autism, and a brain of someone with not disorders and it made sense. I even made honor roll my last year of law school, traveling between states and pregnant the entire year! I didn’t start taking medications until after 30, and even then, off and on b/c of pregnancy and nursing. I’ve been pregnant ( times (had a miscarriage on pregnancy #4) and breastfed all 4 of my boys (yes, all boys-and one who is autistic and I believe one of my younger ones shows signs of possibly also having ADHD) for a year so no medication during those times. My children are currently 2,7,9&11 (all have birthdays coming up this year) and I’m married to a man that has suffered all the issues written about those being married to an ADHD spouse, but in this case, the spouse is a woman.

    I share only to encourage and let you all know none of you out there are alone. I’m
    I’m Southern California, not Vancouver, but I would love for us to like maybe create a Facebook group or even something like GroupMe or just an email club where we connect. We can maybe do a free conference call once a month, submit birthday emails or greeting caress, be there for one another as a support group and understand this is not a lonesome journey because technology has allowed the world to be so much smaller. I’m game to be open about my situation because it can be a blessing to others and I too can learn and be embraced by all of you. Also, for the ones dealing with children who have ADHD like some of us, we can offer support from experience. My story is often considered phenomenal because of the limitations they put on many of us with certain disabilities. Well I’m a loving testimony that the sky is the limit and that just because a child is different doesn’t mean they cannot succeed! I’ve earned 3 degrees, taught a writing course at a Tier 1 university and have proven time and time again that the sky is the limit-even with my son that has autism…he is in 3rd grade and has been the top ranked academically in his general education classroom consistently (even though he still has pull out services for RSP and speech). I understand legally how to be certain the school systems, public or otherwise, are held accountable and properly educating those of us with different brain functions. We are all owed certain opportunities and should not be ostracized because certain educators are not properly trained in how to accommodate or teach children and young adults that have diverse brain functions. So no! None of you are alone, but let’s figure out a way for us to come together so we know that beyond reading an article. Everyone cannot afford coaching or certain therapy, etc., but if you can read this article you can respond and we can make this happen.

    My email is lakeriewilliams@hotmail.com I’m ready for us to support each other. Let’s not just talk about it, let’s be about it!

  • in reply to: Mom's with ADHD-Who else feels like a failure?? #71701

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    I never respond or reply to anything, but today I felt the need. First and foremost, before anyone says that you don’t have to be super mom, let me encourage and tell you that you already are because as a woman with ADHD, the fact that you care enough to even seek help (a lot of is would not) is due to your love and desire to be the best you can be-makes you supermom in my book!

    Next, I’ll let you know about me-my story and background may be encouraging to you’d playboy I can tell you what I do and what works for me. You can chew up the meat and spit out the bones.

    WARNING-I really have ADHD, combined type. You will be able to tell in my writing, but further, this will be extremely long to read because I’m super detail oriented!!!

    So, I am also a mother with ADHD (combined type…like if there was a picture for the description it would be a personified picture of me). I have 4 children, all boys, ages 2,6,9 and 11. I am married to a very stricter NON ADD man, he is a dentist. My 9 yr old is autistic, but he’s not at all intellectually disabled. I have a strong academic background…3 degrees, the highest being a Juris Doctor (my oldest was turning 1 when I graduated from law school-I didn’t go straight to law school after undergrad, too broke). My husband and I are 38 & 39, we will be 39 & 40 in 2018.

    I didn’t take advantage of assistance with my diagnoses because I was raised in a time where a lot of minorities were MISdiagnosed as havinf ADD (and given Ritalin), which caused a lot of issues because the problem wasn’t ADD, it was behavioral issues due to a community of educators not properly equipped with dealing with certain races in the public school system. In fact a lot of kids were actually bored and very intelligent, but the educational system failed them because the teachers at that time simply were not prepared to deal with educating young bright minorities in certain areas. But back to the subject at hand, long story short, I was taught to self preserve and figure it out because they refused to allow a diagnoses to be attached. There was good and bad as a result of it, but all in all-especially as a girl who was extremely smart, it seemed like I was one who would be skipped over because it was different to see ADHD in me as a girl, then wamgat was typical in a boy, plus it appeared I didn’t struggle in school (which I did, but I overworked and overdid everything to compete and stay afloat-others didn’t realize the work out in because they only seen the results).

    I didn’t start taking advantage of the opportunities and rights afforded to people diagnoses like us, due to the ADA, until I was in my second semester of law school-even then, I only took time and a half on exams.

    Never did medication until I sat for the bar exam, and even then, been on and off because I never took medication while pregnant or breastfeeding (and I nursed all my boys until
    the age of 1). I’ve been married going on 12 years this upcoming February, and it hasn’t been easy because my husband and I have been through so much due to my issues when I’m symptomatic, I’m medicated, or just general issues that go alongside with ADHD. It seems with every pregnancy it got harder or worse, because your hormones are already or of whack, you can’t be medicated, and your brain is different to begin with. Although we have four kids I have been pregnant 5 times as I was pregnant with a child the year before my youngest was born (unfortunately there was a miscarriage in my 2nd trimester that rocked our world and had me in major depression mode-was working at the time at a university as a supervisor in the admissions and records department as well as an adjunct professor for a writing course in the core humanities department). Safe to say overwhelmed was just the crux of my lifestyle.

    Fast forward to present day…I’m on medication (Adderall, 30mg extended release in morning, 10 mg regular release in afternoon), I NEED to get my exercise regiment back (I swear athleticism and exercise is truly the best type of medication that I find an excuse to not do-but it works wonders), 3 of my 4 boys are in school, and currently, I’m trying to start a home based daycare (in the back yard, we have a guest house-too much to be in the main residence and I’m not currently in the financial position to be able to afford a housekeeper or whatever) to help with finances as my husband has had recent health issues and he is the bread winner. I’m an at home mother, who does legal consulting on the side, along with side gig teaching (I teach English as a second language online to kids in China), and when I can (not often), I drive Uber and Lyft-usually late nights because I don’t have a sitter and do this when I need to and my husband is home and kids asleep.

    So I spoke a lot about myself not to boost anything about me but to let you know that we all have issues and you are not alone but it is doable.

    If you take medication and it works, continue! Exercise or get some type of athletic thing going on in your life, even if it is just walking and (like another reader mentioned) yoga. Meditation and prayer (if you believe in a higher being) does wonders!

    No one is perfect, even those that seem to have it altogether, do not have ADHD and are super organized! The grass always looks greener on the other side-people are not as open as yourself, a lot more people that appear to have it altogether really don’t, so please do NOT compare yourself to any of them.

    You see my son is autistic, but again, not intellectually disabled. He needs a strict routine (where I feel like I thrive and even enjoy a bit of chaos) and thrives so much better in a very structured environment. This is a crazy thing for me because I’m not the best at the structure thing, but the reality is that ALL of the children, and especially me, need structure. I too thrive in it but my brain goes against the grain. If it’s not something I feel like doing it is so hard to be motivated. This has caused issues in my marriage, career, and even some decisions I’ve made and make as a mother. But you know what, we deal and I’m dealing with it. I’m getting better each da but I can’t lie and say I don’t have my setbacks.

    I’m an Aries so I’m already too stubborn. But guess what, I’ve finally came to realize something very profound my husband told me. Being stubborn is synomous to being stupid. See none wants to say that they are stupid but everyone can admit to being stubborn. But if you think about the times in life (for anyone, regardless of their brain functionality) that someone was being stubborn, typically that is when their decisions, mindset, and or actions were that of one who is being stupid. My point-be humble and open enough to realize when you are being stubborn and take a different route-whether that is asking for help, listening to someone else (like your husband who is not like you but seems to maybe not always understand because he’s not you-although he knows, loves and deals with you and your symptoms better than anyone), and being okay to learn from even your children. Anyone can teach, regardless of age.

    Take advantage of all the free resources that you can. ADHD COACHING IS EXPENSIVE and we can’t all jump on board. But every year there are free coaching resource stuff online in October (during ADHD awareness month); there are free podcast; and free articles and tools-offered by the top ADHD coaches in the world-many who are also women with ADHD themselves, so they have quite a bit of guidance that you can learn and benefit from.

    Another person wrote something about tlakj faith your husband and discussing things on parenting with him. That is an excellent idea. However, for someone like me, my husband would complain about talking things out with me just for me to do something else. So like in my situation, talking is fine-but it’s like he waste time and energy having long conversations with resolutions, unless I WRITE IT DOWN! That may sound silly, but I have a long term memeory that is jumbled. My short term memory is the same. Everything you tell me is in there somewhere, but my executive function skills do not always recall the info as quick as I would like. So when we are dealing with important matters with the kids-it’s easy for me to not be reliable on the things discussed unless I write it down and out it in a place where I will remember to look.

    Life is what you make it and help is not always available (like what if you don’t live close to family and friends, can’t afford to hire assistance)but, if you take advantage of the free resources you come across, try to follow a routine (try-not saying it will always go smooth-and don’t reinvent the wheel, too hard, adapt one that is already available or aka for advice on putting one together-maybe your husband would like to assist) & stay positive in spite of your situation, you will be fine.

    As a mother of girls, remember that sometimes yo and your daughters will not see eye to eye, if ever, until after she has grown to have children of their own. I have all boys, but I am a daughter, sister, neice, Soror, cousin, etc. It was not until I had my first child that I began to understand and appreciate the Awesomeness of my mother (and although she doesn’t have ADD, she is a human woman like everyone else-there are no perfect people, period).

    I love you for reaching out-I love you for loving your family enough to want to be better-but SFOP MAKING YOURSELF TO BE THE WORSE MOTHER EVER! There are women who kill their children, abandon them, mentally and physically abuse them-and based upon what you wrote, your biggest issue is that your symptoms from ADHD trigger issues that ALL WOMEN HAVE big seem more prevalent with those like you and I.

    You will be fine and you keep on doing your best. Take advantage of the assistance that may be available and remember, although we want to be friends with our children, we are their mothers. They will not always like or agree with our decisions, but no book or catalogue exist that can dictate your exact life. Be encouraged, Be positive, be loving and do not act like ADHD is the worse thing to ever happen to you and your family.

    Now go be great…if you read this entire post you are already a determined Diva who is an inspiration to her babies (no matter their age).

    I hope this helped a little. Feel free to reach out and maybe we can keep in touch and communicate-you don’t have to feel alone.

    God bless!!!

  • in reply to: Any hyper girls out here? (Women with ADHD-combined) #89094

    lakeriewilliams
    Participant

    Mommy of 5, please send me an email. We have a magnificent international women’s group for women who have and/or take care of those with ADHD. I’m happy to hear your discoveries about yourself and your diagnoses seem to have proven and filled the gaps on some areas of IOU’s life. However, you should never feel you are on an island on this journey. We welcome you with open arms, if you so desire. No commitment or any fees necessary. Just a safe space and place to be honored,respected, loved, encouraged and motivated by other women who often struggle liken to you. Thinks about it.

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