My Forum Comments
I just hired an amazing teenager to help work beside me.
she also calls me to get up for 15 minutes and do something.
Much cheaper than professional organizers and you’re helping a kid earn money.
April 30, 2018 at 5:52 pm in reply to: How to help my son focus and complete work in school #83270
My question would be – what is his bedtime? Because tired kids (esp add) have trouble writing. :You have to think of idea, then get it on paper before you get distracted. So …not a punishment, but a help would be an earlier bedtime (no electronics 1 hour before bed)
and see if that helps. also think of the positive – If he does the writing…what happens
could he help the teacher sharpen pencils, pick up trash, staple (something fun, physical)
talk in the car before school about his topics, friends, family, sports, movie,
Make sure she does the work/and feels the cost to replace these items
If she doesn’t “feel the Pain” it will continue, but perhaps if she does
“feel the consequences” she will try to improve.
If you cover costs or fix things for her – she definitely will continue and you will be enabling her.
I’m a teacher with add – see both sides. Even if your son is only angry at himself – it is still very scary to others – when someone is out of control, it can be frightening esp if teacher can’t control child. So don’t underplay it – if someone at your work went off – you wouldn’t likely get close either.
To get friends – be a friend. Find someone on baseball team to come over – I’m sure some parents could use a break and let you have their kid for a hour or two. If not…then take an honest look at your child – perhaps needs more help than just a therapist? Social skills?
Your child’s teacher should be able to give you some insights.
good luck and good job for getting him in sports (that’s why Michael Phelps got into swimming). It’s important for add kids or anyone with spec needs to have something they are good at!
also add has a hard time with cause/effect
for example I know that if I don’t pay my bills – I get a late fee…yet I still don’t pay (also procrastination)
get therapy for child and family
go to dr. amen’s website for help
watch diet esp sugar and carbs
good luck and take care of yourself
thanks me too!
February 21, 2018 at 4:05 pm in reply to: I think my child has ADHD, but his Dr and teachers think otherwise. #76875
trouble with tying knots/shoelaces can be a symptom of dyslexia
writing can be dysgraphia
you can be super smart with add
try earlier bedtime/check for snoring
no electronics 1 hour before sleep
go to dr. amen’s website for supplements to help i.e. fish oil
if teacher’s say ok – then may be light add
ususally a boy with add is driving us crazy – out of seat, talking, touching others, etc.
so wonder why no probs at school?
sports help, nutrition and early bedtime
I am a teacher with add – so I see both sides!
Middle school becomes a challenge due to so many different teachers, homework and ORGANIZATION that is required.
Color coding helps – ask her to choose a color for each class and think why…so she remembers the color.
When is the last time she got her eyes checked? (By an eye dr. NOT pediatrician. Also double check hearing just in case.
Practice taking notes at home. My kindergartners can watch a movie and take notes so… practice with a cartoon. Oh spongebob is yellow..write yellow, his friend is patrick…write patrick. he’s driving…write driving.
Taking notes takes practice, but they get faster. This forces an add person to pay attention and also helps them remember what they learn. (our church has fill in the blanks – and it keeps you from daydreaming).
If she wants to watch extra tv – ok…but she has to take notes.
Watch sleep. Add needs LOTS of sleep, so push back the bedtime. Also watch nutrition – more protein esp breakfast less sugar!!
go to dr. daniel amen’s website for lots of good info.
also hormones can affect add – he has a book 7 types of add and also the female brain (or something like that).
Most important of all…find out what she’s good at/likes and promote that (you have to feel good about yourself!!)
Is it sports, art, music, photography (ansel adams had add) grow her passions
also check for dyslexia (can occur with add)
tell her about famous people with add (google them) so she knows she’s not alone!
no tv in bedroom, possible no computer and no phone during homework time / may need to take away at night
no electronics 1 hour before sleep – interferes with sleep
check for snoring (sleep apnea) not getting enough oxygen – not restful sleep
tell her you love her and share your struggles – everyone has struggles hence new years resoloutions – so she’s not alone
celebrate success no matter how small
February 9, 2018 at 6:23 pm in reply to: Living with ADHD & Depression-will I ever feel happy? #76190
go to dr – you may be premenopausal – need hormones to balance you out
get treated for depression (if you don’t – higher chance of alzheimers!)
try to walk/exercise
volunteer – helping others makes you feel good
get treated yourself
add exercise, sleep, and better nutrition
February 9, 2018 at 6:13 pm in reply to: looking back,what advice would you give your parents about treating you? #76188
go to Dr. Amen’s website – he’s my adhd guru
he’s written lots of books/videos
try the 7 typed of add
we are worthy as we are – but we have special brains that are delicate
our brains need special things to make them run better – i.e. meds, fish oil, etc.
we absolutly need structure/routine kids will push boundaries, but they also make us feel safe
how would you like driving with no laws, no speed limits, no rules, no police – sounds like fun for a minute then scary unsafe
having structure is what we do at school and it’s not mean. If you don’t have structure you don’t get things done.
It feels good to know that after I do this…then we do this… No structure feels insecure – what will happen next?
like kids with 2 houses and 2 sets of rules have a hard time because of trying to handle two different structures.
If you don’t have structure you would eat a different times everyday (not good for your body) and sleep at different times
(not good for brain or body) you need structure to have a job, be on time for appts, a million things
structure is our friend. I’m a teacher and when I’m on vacation with no structure – I don’t get things done – and it makes me
mad at myself.
kids don’t like things “that are good for you” i.e. vegetables, sleep, exercise – but we still have to give them what they need
not what they want!
keep reading and help him – just like every mom (not just adhd mom) all kids resist but that doesn’t mean they aren’t good enough
let him know what you are working on – (losing weight, cleaning, not smoking, drinking, etc. – everyone has things they are working on – not just him!)
I am a teacher with add. I am also gifted – school was super easy. But I had the triangle of success. Sleep, nutrition and excercise – growing up. Mom is a dietician – so low sugar, no junk food, early bedtime, and ballet/swim every night.
Now as adult – poor sleep, poor nutrition, no exercise – my add is out of whack!
also – check on friendships – that may be a difficult area. Make sure your NO means NO everytime. If you give in to whining, begging, fits – it teaches them – that those things work. NEVER GIVE IN. They will play you like the lottery because they know it works some of the time. Make sure they exercise, have structure (school is lots of structure which we need), low sugar, at home.
Work on incentives – use calendar – buy toys ahead of time – put on top of fridge, and work toward earning them.
make sure kid sleeps early – tired kids are grouchy whiny and out of control. Early bedtime – if they snore – talk to dr. it’s sleep apnea and they aren’t getting deep restful sleep.
many add kids are gifted – Richard Branson – virgin airlines, the guy who invented Kinkos, etc.
January 31, 2018 at 5:05 pm in reply to: Overwhelmed and Exhausted Single Mom of 5 yr old with ADHD #75459
sleep, exercise, nutrition are key (along with meds)
if these are not balanced – they’ll be a mess
kids need 10-12 hours
if they snore – it’s not restful sleep it’s sleep apnea so talk to dr.
exercise is key – Michael phelps was put in swimming for add (mom’s a principal)
what happened when he didn’t have olympics (sleep, excercise, nutrition)? he self-medicated
same as dennis rodman after he didn’t play basketball
so on top of everything – make sure he’s going to bed 7:30 (no computer/tv 1 hour before)
and getting at least 11 hours of sleep
no sugar breakfast that includes protein
and try gonoodle.com for dance exercise for 15 minutes before school/or run/jump/situps, ets.
plus if he goes to bed – you get a break
same schedule on weekends so the body gets a habit
January 31, 2018 at 4:53 pm in reply to: looking back,what advice would you give your parents about treating you? #75458
there are lots of different meds
just like lots of different birth control pills, – some make you break out, nauseous, gain weight – so you try a differnet one
you can take advil, tylenol, aspirin – different meds for headaches
so don’t give up if one type doesn’t work
I have seen miracles
last year my kinder student stalked a girl, choked, kicked, spit, profanities, etc and put everything in his mouth
so no crayons, scissors, etc. On meds – he changed to a great kid (not perfect…meds don’t make you perfect) but a great kid
but the most important thing is that it helps your child succeed at school – which is pretty much their life
so try to find outside things they are GOOD at, because you have to be successful to feel good about yourself
many add kids are good at art, sports – so find their passion and enrich that area
my brother struggled in school but was football and basketball captain
also let your child see what you struggle with
I’m working on my diet, my cleaning, my smoking…. so that they know they’re not the only ones who have a challenge.
Everyone is working on something (hence new years resoloutions)
January 31, 2018 at 4:43 pm in reply to: looking back,what advice would you give your parents about treating you? #75453
hi I am a teacher with add
many parents don’t want their child “labeled” but it’s so much better to be labeled accurately and helpfully,
than to not be “labeled” and your child gets labeled naughty, lazy, bad, behavior problem, etc.
Also your child has rights that they cannot receive without a “label”. They can get a “504” iep which gives them help
at school, modifications of work, environment, homework, etc. They may qualify for some sp ed services.
Also if your child cannot resist impulses – they may have lack of friends – which is HUGE!!
They may feel badly about themselves because they can’t “be good”. HUGE
Treatment is NOT SURGERY! You can stop if you don’t like it. But if your child had diabetes, heart issues, etc. you would treat it!
Having brain issues is equally if not more important!
Learning affects your salary for the rest of your life! If you can’t learn…your life will be harder. If you don’t have friends…your life will be harder. If you don’t like yourself…your life will be harder.
It is HELL to live a life where you are in trouble every day. If there is help… why not give it to your child???
What do you have to lose? Also there is a triangle to help – sleep, nutrition, and exercise.
Michael Phelps has add (mom is a principal who put him into swimming to help).. What happened when olympics were over and he didn’t have quality sleep, nutrition and exercise??? He self-medicated with marijuana. Look at Dennis Rodman –
he was ok when he played basketball (sleep, nutrition and exercise) what happened when he retired? Self-medicated.
Kids who don’t get treated – often treat themselves with drugs/alcohol
Please go to DR. Amen’s website – guru of add – lots of books he’s on PBS all the time
please help your child today! They are hurting inside!