Expectation and success

This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  jkate23 1 day, 10 hours ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #114067

    valentina__lou
    Participant

    Hi, this is my first time starting a thread so I hope I’m doing this correctly aha.

    I am a first year university student in the UK living away from home, I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 16.

    Does anyone else ever feel like they do so much work and put in so much effort yet the outcome is so disappointing to yourself that you aren’t even sure where it all went wrong. I will spend hours of my time at the university building (It opens at 8am and closes at 12am) finishing work and getting organised making timetables, lists, tick sheets and reminders. It all seems to be going well then all of a sudden 3 hours have gone by and I have almost no work to show for it. Not because I haven’t worked hard but just… well I wish I knew the real reason.

    I put hours and hours of work in… just as much as anyone else and my grades just seem not to reflect all my hard work… I know that sounds cliche but it really does feel like that.

    Then when the work is finally finished and handed in (after the mad rush even when you plan your life so it can be finished in ample time) I never feel happy or content with my work just frustrated that… one thing wasn’t done quicker or something should have had extra work with it.

    Everyone says to me I expect so much from myself and I need to give myself a break… I wish I could… i just don’t think I know how.

    Is it just me?

    Thank you for reading i do appreciate it

  • #114316

    ADHDmomma
    Keymaster

    You definitely do need to give yourself a break — although that is easier said than done. I think a lot of this has to do with perfectionism (which roots in anxiety).

    This article outlines how to stop the emotional distress cycle:

    How to Stop Those Negativity Spirals

    Penny
    ADDitude Community Moderator, Parenting ADHD Trainer & Author, Mom to teen w/ ADHD, LDs, and autism

  • #114474

    valentina__lou
    Participant

    Hi Penny

    Thank you for the article link I will be sure to have a look

    Thank you again

  • #114483

    Nikcococo
    Participant

    Hi Valentina, I face the same issues in school too.

    If you feel like you are doing a lot of things, have you considered if you really need to do all of them or if they can be done a different way? I find study or work groups quite helpful where we are good at different things, so we take turns coming up with lists of things to complete within 1-3 hours. So in a way I don’t need to spend so much time on lists and just start doing something. We are either doing the same thing or things. Maybe that can help you have an earlier start to complete earlier too.

    I had a lot of problems with my workflow too, so I tried going through it with my teachers and classmates using 1 example workflow so they can help me identify areas I’m stuck and how to work around it. My classmates I work with also give me regular feedback and vice versa so I know how I’m progressing. It helps to talk it out or show the written steps of what you do if you feel like you’re doing a lot but not sure how to manage it.

  • #114487

    jkate23
    Participant

    Hi Valentina

    I struggle with similar problems. I find I spend more time preparing to do something than I do actually doing it, or the techniques I use with study are very inefficient.

    I’ve been trying to find some helpful sources of advice recently, and came across this article. While this article might not be overly helpful with prioritising workload, the author might well be a very good source of information. I found the forgetting curve very helpful, which makes me think he has a lot more useful advice.

    8 Unique Studying Tips for College Students with ADHD

    I looked into the author, Doug Puryear, who is a Psychiatrist who was diagnosed at 64. He talks a lot about his own difficulties with studying when he was going through med school. He has published a book with a section on studying. I have just ordered it via snail mail. Unfortunately the kindle version isn’t available for me in Australia.

    Might be worth you having a look though, perhaps his study section though, perhaps it will help :).

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.